


Not Going Anywhere

by Burgie



Series: WillowxAlex AU [16]
Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: F/F, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: In the leadup to Anne's rescue, Alex starts working harder and harder and Willow starts feeling left out. Willow belongs to willownorthbook.





	Not Going Anywhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willownorthbook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willownorthbook/gifts).



It was finally happening. After months, years even, of planning and waiting and working and training (but mostly waiting), the druids were set to rescue Anne. And yes, that was a good thing, Willow had wanted to save Anne from her horrible prison in Pandoria as much as everyone else. And yet…

The downside of the Soul Riders working closely together on such an important mission was that Willow felt left out. Shunted to the side. Abandoned. It felt like weeks since she’d last spent quality time with her girlfriend. Alex was training as hard as everyone else, harder, even. Willow knew why, of course, Alex had broken down and told her about it in Dino Valley when Elizabeth had sent Willow looking for her. It had been the whim of a worried girlfriend, to go and check up on the girl who was busy fulfilling her punishment for disobeying Elizabeth’s order in taking Justin to the Singing Yew on South Hoof.

And then it had all come out, how Alex felt like she had to do more, work harder, how Alex didn’t feel worthy of being a Soul Rider. Willow had held her so tightly in that cold place as tears had fallen down Alex’s face, almost freezing to the skin. And then, Willow had taken Alex home, to comfort her with the distraction of Jorflix and assure her that she was okay, that she was good enough, more than good enough. And everything had seemed okay.

Until the next morning when Willow had woken up to find the bed empty and a note on the kitchen counter saying that Alex had left to start training and helping the druids first thing. Willow had sighed, guilt weighing her stomach down and dispelling hunger as she’d crumpled the note in her hand. Her love wasn’t enough to comfort Alex, apparently. And then she felt her stomach twist with guilt at that thought. Talk about selfish.

So Willow kept it in. She didn’t tell Alex about her fears, her feelings, didn’t tell her how she felt when Alex disappeared all day and only came home in the middle of the night too exhausted to do anything more than press a brief kiss to Willow’s lips or cheek or forehead before passing out. Willow’s worry over her girlfriend warred with her own feelings of inadequacy for weeks.

And then Alex burned herself out. Willow was called to the druid infirmary by her friend Louisa, told only that Alex was there.

The room was dim, lit only by a single lamp by Alex’s bed. The curtains had been drawn, probably so that Alex could sleep, but Willow could easily see the dark circles under her girlfriend’s eyes. She stopped by Alex’s bed, looking down at her girlfriend. And she remembered a time when she’d been the one to work herself to exhaustion, when she’d woken up many times to find a concerned face looking down at her. As Alex saw now when she opened her eyes, groaning at the pain no doubt burning her body.

“Hey,” said Willow, reaching out to take Alex’s hand in her own.

“Hey, Wills,” said Alex, smiling faintly up at her. Willow didn’t smile back. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know whether to be mad at you or worried,” said Willow, blinking away tears.

“Huh?” Alex asked.

“You’ve been pushing yourself to the limit while I’ve just been sitting there doing nothing,” said Willow, her voice colder than she felt. Anger burned her veins, causing the lamp in the room to flicker. Alex noticed.

“Oh,” said Alex. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“Well, I do worry, Alex, because I love you,” said Willow, tears spilling down her cheeks now. “I don’t even know if I’m allowed to help out because you and the other Soul Riders seem so… busy. Close. And I know, it’s not your fault, Lisa’s been busy too, it comes with the territory of being a Soul Rider. But you’re working harder than anyone else, Alex, and I hate seeing you work yourself to exhaustion like this. Please, please just rest.”

“Well, I have to now,” said Alex. “I’m an empty battery, I’ve used up all my juice. I need to recharge.”

“Not recharge, relax,” said Willow, her voice trembling with emotion now. “I don’t care what you say, you’re staying with me until you recover.”

“You don’t have to do that,” said Alex.

“I’m your girlfriend, it’s my job to worry about you and look after you,” said Willow. “Dammit, Alex, just let me help you. For once.”

“Fine,” said Alex, not looking at her. “Did you come here just to lecture me?”

“Of course I didn’t,” said Willow, guilt stabbing her heart. “Fuck, now I’m being a bad girlfriend.”

“See? We both fuck up sometimes,” said Alex. Willow smiled faintly.

“Yeah. We do,” said Willow, her voice tight. “Let me be your nurse.”

“A sexy nurse?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. Willow frowned at her.

“Don’t push your luck,” said Willow. Alex only laughed.

“But seriously, I could really go for some ice cream,” said Alex. “You know what kind.”

“You’re the only person I know who favours vanilla,” said Willow as she stood up and left the room.

“It’s the only vanilla thing about me!” Alex called after her. Willow couldn’t help but laugh, and the feeling of reconnecting with her girlfriend was sweeter than any ice cream.

Alex didn’t stay in the druid infirmary for long, only until she was well enough to walk. And even then, Willow insisted on pulling Alex onto the back of Faith, her North Swedish, to take back to her house by the Silversong River. Willow dismounted and turned to help Alex down, but Alex had already slid to the ground before Willow could do anything.

“Alex,” Willow chided her.

“I’m not a cripple,” said Alex.

“I know that,” said Willow. “Just don’t push yourself.”

“Do I have to go directly to bed too?” Alex asked while Willow fished for the key in her pocket.

“No, couch,” said Willow. “We’re spending the rest of the day watching Jorflix so get comfy.”

“Alright, boss,” said Alex. “Has Louisa been giving you pointers?”

“I’m just doing to her what she did to me the few times I burned myself out, just with added kisses and cuddles,” said Willow.

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” said Alex, heading into the house. Willow didn’t miss the smile that spread across Alex’s face as she looked around the place. “Damn, I’ve missed this place.”

“Yeah, you would, you really only see it in the dark,” said Willow. Alex sighed, turning to her.

“I’m sorry,” said Alex, walking to Willow and wrapping her arms around her. “I didn’t mean to abandon you, I just… we’re so close to saving Anne now. We know where Concorde is, Conrad’s working on that keystone…”

“I know,” said Willow, softening in Alex’s arms. She wasn’t mad at her anymore. Not now that she’d been spending some quality time with her, albeit in the druid infirmary. “It’s mostly just that I didn’t feel like I should intrude on your Soul Rider business. And yeah, I’ve been training with my friends, but I’ve just missed seeing you. And I guess… part of me is worried about what happens after we save Anne. What then? You won’t need us anymore, you won’t need me.”

“We’ll figure that out when we get there,” said Alex. “But if it helps, Wills, I don’t have any intentions of abandoning you. Yes, I want to do everything myself so others don’t have to worry, but that’s just the way I am. It’s how I was brought up.”

“Really?” Willow asked, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Yes,” said Alex, nodding. “I’m not going anywhere, Willow. You can count on that. And after seeing how scared you were when I just passed out from burnout, there’s no way in hell I’m going to do something stupidly suicidal to save the day. Or at least, I’m not planning on it.”

“But can you really tell the druids to shove it if they say to forget about the Keepers of Light?” Willow asked.

“Hello, you’re talking to the biggest ‘fuck you’ in all of Jorvik,” said Alex with a laugh. “Well, second biggest, Astor’s the biggest.” Willow laughed.

“Thank you,” said Willow, the smile staying on her face this time. “And… thank you for agreeing to stay with me. I know it’s no Silverglade Manor but, well.” She shrugged.

“Oh, please,” said Alex with a roll of her eyes. “This place is better than the manor any day. Yeah, it was nice of the Baroness to let us stay there, even if it was out of guilt for locking Linda in the castle and marrying Sands and starting that whole shitshow without even realising, but I feel bad touching anything there in case I break it or sully it with my poor.”

“No, it’s okay,” said Willow. Alex shook her head.

“It’s just a poor person thing, don’t worry about it,” said Alex. “That place is way too fancy for me. But this? This is home. Actually… if I buy my own food, I can live here, right?”

“What?” Willow asked, her heart freezing. Had she heard that correctly?

“Never mind, stupid question, forget I asked,” said Alex, quickly moving away from Willow and into the living room. “Let’s watch Jorflix?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind having you around more often,” said Willow as she followed Alex. God, Alex had her on a rollercoaster today.

“Okay,” said Alex, flashing her a smile. Willow felt like Alex was planning something, though she wasn’t willing to believe that Alex had seriously just asked if she could move in. She probably just meant something else, like buying her own food while she was staying here recovering.

The next morning, Alex had left Willow’s bed empty again. Willow groaned when she saw it, walking through the house with an angry Gracie plodding at her heels.

“Alex,” Willow muttered angrily as she scraped out wet food for Gracie and set it down. Alex wasn’t answering her phone, either. But both Tin Can and Faith were missing, which struck Willow as odd.

Halfway through her third viewing of Spirit, having decided to watch Jorflix all day and not fret or fume too much, something crashed into the front door of Willow’s house. Immediately, Willow sprung to her feet, hitting pause on Jorflix and racing to the door with her heart pounding. She was still in her pyjamas, but she summoned a tiny ball of lightning to smack the intruder in the face.

The lightning fizzed out the second Willow swung the door open and saw Alex standing on the other side, clutching a duffel bag.

“I’m moving in,” said Alex, grinning. “Move, I’ve got more stuff coming.”

“What?” Willow asked, her eyes wide as she stepped to the side to allow Alex in. Faith stood at the door with a box of stuff resting on her sturdy hindquarters, which Alex grabbed after heading back outside.

“Hello, roomie,” said Alex, pressing a kiss to Willow’s cheek as she passed her. Willow closed the door and followed after Alex, watching as her girlfriend started to place some books and crystals on the bookshelf.

“Why?” Willow asked, her heart finally working again.

“Why not?” said Alex, turning to face her. Seeing how shaky Willow looked, Alex walked towards her, taking Willow’s hands in her own. “Listen, I know there’s a lot of shit going on right now. Your shit, my shit, the shit with the druids and Pandoria.” She gestured to each thing as she spoke, the final one gesturing back towards Valedale. “But you don’t need to worry about this.” And she squeezed Willow’s hands. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”

“Really?” Willow asked, tears standing in her eyes now. Alex nodded. “Why?”

“Because I love you,” said Alex, as though it were the simplest thing in the world. Willow trembled.

“Are you sure?” Willow asked. At Alex’s nod, the tears spilled over and Alex pulled Willow into her arms.

“It’s okay,” Alex murmured. “I love you, Willow. I know I haven’t been there for you for weeks and I’m sorry. But I promise to be around more often now. Although it goes against my work ethic, I’ll go home when Lisa does. And you’re more than welcome to come pull me away for a date whenever you want.”

“Are you sure?” Willow asked again.

“Yep,” said Alex, nodding. “I know you won’t abuse that power.”

“I’m more responsible than that,” said Willow, sniffling. “I love you.”

“I know,” said Alex, smiling at her and pulling Willow closer to her. “Surprised you didn’t yell at me for not resting.”

“You’re off the hook this time,” said Willow. “Because you made me so happy. But you’re on the couch for the rest of the day.” Alex laughed.

“You don’t see me complaining,” said Alex. She kissed Willow’s forehead. “Go wash your face and get a glass of water. I’ll be waiting for you on the couch.”

“I’ll make some popcorn too,” said Willow when Alex let her go. She wiped her eyes, resisting the urge to wipe her nose with the sleeve of her pyjama top.

“Yes!” Alex cheered, pumping her fist in the air. Willow laughed, walking away with her heart feeling lighter than ever and tears still dripping down her face. In all the time they’d been dating, she’d never expected Alex to actually want to move in with her. But Alex loved her. She could feel it. Alex wouldn’t do to her what Kai had done.


End file.
